Talking with your teen about abusive relationships…

Over the Summer holidays as a parent of a teenager you’ve probably spent more time with them and found out more details about their day to day lives and relationships. And, with the rise of misogynistic social media outlets and influencers, you may have some concerns or have spotted some red flags when chatting with your teen.

What are the signs of teenage relationship abuse? 

Below are a list of some of the most common signs of teenage relationship abuse:

• Emotional abuse: controlling behaviour, like telling someone where they can go and what they can wear
• Online abuse: threatening to post personal pictures or information about them
• Controlling someone’s finances: withholding money or stopping someone going to work
• Snooping: reading emails, text messages or letters
• Sexual abuse: making someone do something sexual when they don’t want to
• Physical abuse: violence towards someone, such as kicking, punching, hitting

Starting the conversation with teens about relationship abuse isn’t always easy—especially when they are your child and depend on you for care and guidance. But open, supportive dialogue can make a lasting difference.

Whether you’re a parent, educator, or mentor, it’s important to create space for honest conversations without judgment or fear.

Some important things to keep in mind when talking to teens about relationship abuse are listed below:

Accept what they are telling you.  Teenagers want to be heard and when they air concerns they are often genuine.  Listen to them and be supportive even if you don’t understand or agree with their decisions.

Let them make up their own mind.  If we remember that abuse is about power and control then making decisions for them can only add to the disempowerments they are already experiencing from a partner.

Don’t stop them seeing their partner.  As concerned as we might be as a parent, teens want and need to hear from their parents and trusted adults. This is an opportunity to influence their views on the relationship and build their confidence and resilience to protect themselves from abuse. BUT if you have genuine concerns for their safety then ask for their permission for you to track their location for peace of mind.  Always call 999 if you fear for their safety.

Avoid posting about them on social media.  Although you may have access to their location do not share where they spend time with your online community.  An abusive partner may be able to use your posts to find them.

Let them know you are there for them. Don’t give up – even if your natural instinct is to remove them from harm’s way immediately. Abusive situations aren’t that simple and a knee jerk reaction might make things worse.

Let the teens in your life know they are not alone. 

Help is always available via ChildLine: call 0800 1111, or sign up so you can online chat and send messages (9am – midnight). Always call 999 in an emergency.

Our outreach team is also available to visit schools or colleges in the new school term. Contact us on 0151 494 1777 if you would like to arrange a visit.