When you first meet your partner, everything is roses and love hearts. Especially when it comes to showing their affection or showering you with gifts. Initially, you might feel excited, safe, secure and swept off your feet because grand gestures are a self-esteem boost and make you feel needed and wanted.
But what happens when the gifts are given to gain control? A love bomber’s goal is not to seek love, but to gain control over their victims though gifts. These seemingly innocent gestures (and grand ones too) are an effort to manipulate you and make you feel indebted and dependent on them.
What happens when the honeymoon phase is over? When real-life kicks in a love bomber may resort to more manipulative tactics like gaslighting or domestic abuse to keep you around and ‘indebted’ to them.
This can leave you in a vulnerable and dangerous situation.
“Love bombing is a situation that can be hard to get out of because you may not know how genuine someone is until it’s too late.”
What is love bombing?
Love bombing is a form of psychological and emotional abuse that involves a person going above and beyond for you in an effort to manipulate you into a relationship with them. It looks different for every person, but it usually involves some form of:
- Excessive flattery and praise.
- Over-communication of their feelings for you.
- Showering you with unneeded/unwanted gifts.
- Early and intense talks about your future together.
How do I know it’s love bombing?
To check whether your relationship is real and that their intentions are genuine, check in on how they make you feel. If something doesn’t feel right, then it’s often not.
Talking openly with your partner can help to reassure you that they really do care about you. If they are willing to take feedback on how they are making you feel uncomfortable and change their behaviour then they do probably care about you and respect your relationship.
However, if the response you get is combative, argumentative or they dismiss your feelings and continue to control or disrespect your boundaries, those are red flags.
Don’t just trust your gut though, check in with your family and friends to get a fresh perspective. At the end of the day, they are looking out for you and can see things you may not be able to beyond the gifts and adoration.
Love bombing is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. In many cases, long after you’ve moved on from the relationship, it can be difficult to trust other potential partners and trust your own feelings when it comes to dating. At the end of the day, good relationships feel good.
If you’re worried that you may be a victim of love bombing, now might be the time to diffuse rather than detonate the situation. Call us in complete confidence on 0151 494 2222 and we can help support you through this confusing time.
If you ever feel unsafe or you’re experiencing physical violence or abuse, call 999 immediately.